Knocked For Six

I squirted shower gel onto a sponge
As though I was applying ketchup to an American hotdog

I watched an old man fold up a piece of paper in Weatherspoons
As though it would be the last words he would ever read

I only ever loved one girl but she never knew me
She couldn't 'get to know me' apparently
I was 'too arty' - whatever that means?

I thought I lost you in the rain
Those huge puddles you could never avoid
An avalanche of tears from the sky

I should have never read that book
The one that can save you
Unfortunatley for me there were pages missing
Typically

I never remembered your favourite actress
I couldn't care less
With a syringe hanging from my arm for good measure

I always kissed you the first thing in the morning
Your morning breath always tasted like fizzy lemons

I am lost for words - you knocked me for six.

Oh, Joy

Oh, what a Wednesday this is
Repeated processes
Repeated defeat
Time and time again

Oh the joy, of another cigarette break
Stood in the rain,
Trying to read Tolstoy
Whilst others read Heat

Oh the wonder
Of all these nationalities in one small town
Some paid equally
Some not

Oh, how my artistic talents
Go to waste
With my brain clogged up to the hill
With worries about where my next meal is coming from

Oh, I am glad to have no friends
Most people are dumb
Most people are imbeciles
With one eye on the next celebrity

Oh, do I regret anything?
No.

Should I let it bother me?
No.

I have my music, poetry, films and books
It's all you ever really need.

To My Best Friend

the time we spent
hell ridden
bent over the sides of boats
in lake Como

twiddling thorns and roses
between our bruised hands
it always pricked
but never hurt me

drinking wine with no sophistication
pasta shells on a plate
spelled out
'it's too late'

And on that plane journey back
to the mundane of this country
to the countless pages
of a really crap novel

you held my hand
and I knew
that no matter what
we would always be best friends

Waves Of Failure

The waves of failure wash over me
Beating me
Floods all around me,
I can't walk never mind run

My orr's have snapped
All I have is fate
or my hands
or a 'G'od that I hope exists

My demons circle me
Closing in
Closer minute by minute
Nowhere to escape

At last I have to face them
Head on
a collision of all my fears
like a knife in my face

I cannot react
There is no time
all I can do is drown
and pray
or pray and be killed

Either way,

There is no god to save me

and he doesn't deserve a capital G.

1 step forward, 8 steps back

grey days and upturned jeans
without looking
nothing in-between
me or you
you or me

the light never sees me
this corner of the room will do
for now
will it ever?

so much mess in one lifetime
so much clutter
tie it all up in bin bags
you don't need any of it
it does not need you

you say you love something
but abandon it
as usual
one step forward
eight steps back

this hour is my dream
I try not to
wipe my slate
let's all start again
but what would you change?

Regrets like demons
torment your psyche
and you will never sleep again
you will never sleep again
you can never dream again

Things Fall Apart

Instances of sentences torn apart by words,
images of love lost through torments of the mind
my love, waiting for me
my love, rejecting me

eventually things fall apart
and nothing can be done
you must accept the yearning
the screaming
of past lovers

They haunt me
in my dreams
I can't lie
or pretend
or say I'm not hurt
and I break like plasticine

That was yesterday
Today is bright and yellow
Fresh and clean
Everything can be seen
For miles
All my trials & tribulations

Somehow a familiar pattern emerges
Clocks reset
My heart reacts
To someone or other
and you know for a fact
that the 'one' is just a distant dream